Understanding Grief

Grief first took hold of my heart when my sister was first diagnosed with cancer in 2009, which changed our family forever. However, nothing compared to the loss I felt when she passed away in 2010 followed by my mother 4 years later, both due to cancer. Then when I thought I was doing well another shock occurred in August 2015 when my ex-boyfriend committed suicide, which has caused an intense pain that differed from the loss of my sister and mother.
Grief, I have learned can be experienced at anytime to help us cope with the sadness we feel inside. Contrary to what many people expect or hope for, there is not a time limit or sequence of events that have to happen. Grief is how we process our feelings internally and each person handles it differently. Even after 6 years since my sister, and best friend, passed away I still feel the dull ache which can cause me at times to crawl into a fetal position and sob intensely.  However, I have realized that the depth of that sadness has diminished with time. I have not forgotten, I have simply continued to live and embrace life as I know she would have. She is the reason I am on this path of natural healing.
Our emotions are energy, for how much impact they have on us depends on how much we give it. For example, when I first learned that Joel, my ex-boyfriend, had committed suicide I felt as though all the air had been sucked out of me. For the first two weeks I played conversations in my head and belittled myself of what I didn’t do or what I could have done better. Eventually, I realized how much I was hurting myself in this way and so I focused on staying busy and talking to others. I also brought out the tools I have learned throughout the years that have helped me move forward.

Moving forward through grief is a process and everyone has their own way. Growing through grief happens on a personal level yet the resources can be similar. According to Michael Caserta et al (2009), personal growth is strengthened through religion/spiritual(having faith in something higher than us), social support (friends, family, support groups, etc), healing therapies (Reiki, counseling, energy work, aromatherapy, etc), self-esteem(what you say to yourself), motivation (how you take one step at a time), and confidence(how you hold yourself up).

The resources I have found helpful within my grief work have been numerous. I also believe they are still present as they offer me signs they are near. I have also shared my feelings with friends and family while also taking time alone and crying wherever the mood hits if I feel I am in a safe place. Self-healing techniques, such as Reiki and meditation,  provide me with the comfort and peace as energy moves throughout my body.
Moving forward through grief is a part of the healing journey and I want to support you in a safe space and share with you the tools that have helped me.
Embrace your grief as you move forward with a compassionate guide while you release your frustrations and fears is comforting.
I’ll listen as you talk about your grief and stressors then together we will identify the resources and techniques that work best for you while moving forward along your healing journey yet still embracing the memory of your loved ones or situations.
Begin by completing this form and I will be in touch with you so we can talk about how I can support you on your healing journey.
Blessings and love,
PS. What have you found helpful to manage your grief? Please respond to this blog and share your techniques.
Blessings in love and health,
Paty Hernandez
Mariposas Holistic Healing