On Sunday I had just finished working with a new client (very excited) and was waiting on my brother to call me so I could meet up with him and his family to spend time with the kiddos, my niece and nephew. Almost an hour passed and I didn’t hear from him. I knew they were dealing with an issue and would contact me when they were finished. Yet while I was waiting at my office and listening to a business podcast (it’s an entrepreneur thing), depression creeped in. It came out of nowhere as sad thoughts soon led to tears starting to flow.
Crap! (not truly what I thought but thought it best to keep this G rated) I immediately sent a text to my brother and told him I wasn’t feeling well and was heading home. En route thoughts of every imaginable reason as to why I was sad came crashing into my head space and the tears just flowed. I raised the windows, adjusted my sunglasses, turned off the radio, and spoke out loud the thoughts running through my mind. Just hearing them seemed like they carried less weight than what was happening in my head. Within the commute back home (about 35 minutes) I cried out my sadness and feelings of unworthiness. As I turned the corner heading towards the apartment I made a plan to feel more focused and centered once I was home for I didn’t want to continue wallowing in this misery.
Truth is I’ve been struggling with depression since as long as I could remember. I was “diagnosed” with depression when I was 18 years old and prescribed Paxil which I took for a few months. Yet I didn’t like how I felt when I was on them so I stopped and found other ways to cope with it.
Throughout my life I have fallen into bouts of depression which could last hours or days. The depression would be triggered by thoughts or sometimes after a traumatic event such as a loss of my loved ones. For example, I was triggered on Sunday because I was on an amazing high which was then popped by limiting beliefs. Doubts and insecurities, especially limiting beliefs of not feeling worthy or good enough are the struggles I have been dealing with throughout my life. Since I became an entrepreneur they have become stronger as I have been facing them head on.
I checked my face before I got out of the car and said to myself in the mirror: “Paty, it’s okay to cry. Now it’s time to move forward by listening to happy music and organizing your room and home office. You got this. You’re worth it and you are loved by many.”
With a sigh and a prayer to my spiritual guides for strength I moved on with the rest of my day.
Feeling sad and depressed is normal, it becomes a problem when it lingers for more than a day.
Fact is depression does have a habit of creeping in from time to time, especially just when things appear to be going so amazing.
Have you experienced that before?
I didn’t fight the depression or blame myself for feeling the way I was, I just allowed it to flow out of my system. Then I used my depression kicker of listening to happy music and cleaning up my living space so I didn’t feel more chaotic. My other favorite depression kickers are watching funny movies, going for walks outside, dancing, dropping orange essential oil in my diffuser, and calling uplifting friends.
If you struggle with depression what are ways that you move through it?
Leave a comment of your favorite tips.
Pass this along to someone who may benefit from it as we all need support everyday!
Love and hugs,
Paty, La Mariposa
Let’s discuss ways to include more self-care into your life to reduce depression.
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