Inner Ease technique

I have to admit that one of my favorite movies is Ever After with Drew Barrymore. I admire her role as an independent woman who focuses on her extended family, and is dedicated to do what’s right even when others think she’s wrong.

The movie is a remake about Cinderella yet it definitely isn’t appropriate for kids under 13 years old. Anyways, there’s a scene in which Drew is about to make a bold entrance into a large group of people and she says Just Breathe.

Those words are an excellent reminder that all we could control is our breath and not the reactions of others when faced with challenges. Recently I was reminded of that as I transitioned into a new living space had so many unexpected changes thrust upon me. There were numerous times I would become overwhelmed and had to remember just to breathe. Fortunately, I’ve been offering Reiki at least a few times a week which has also helped me relax.

However, there’s another technique I practice either with or without Reiki called the Inner Ease Technique from the Heart Math Institute. I teach this technique to my clients who struggle with anxiety and aren’t attuned to Reiki.

After discussing it with a client a few days ago I was inspired to share it on my weekly Wednesday morning Facebook Live stress less broadcast in my public Facebook group called Our Wheels of Life, click here to join.

Now, I want to share it with you for your self-care tool box. Click here to watch me sharing how to practice the technique.

PS if you’re in Miami next Saturday then come and receive a donation based 5 minute chakra balance chair session at the Coconut Grove Farmer’s market. All of the funds will benefit the American Association of Hispanic Health Coaches. We are a non-profit organization of Hispanic health coaches dedicated to improving the lives of Hispanic, especially children and reducing chronic health issues.

Feel free to reply/comment to these blogs as I’d love to hear from you.

Pass this blog along to someone who may benefit from it as we all need love everyday!

Paty, La Mariposa

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5 Lessons I Learned From Living With Papi

Just the other day I heard someone groan, “Oh, I sound just like my mother/father.” Have you uttered these words before? This is a fear many of us have yet it’s important to really take an honest look at what it is we fear. Within my life I’ve heard this time and time again and I believe it’s fair to say that most if not all have mommy/daddy issues that cause them to struggle within their personal relationships. Granted our parents (or lack of) greatly impacted our lives as we grew up, especially if we held certain expectations of them or compared them to other parents. Honestly, I used to say the same thing until life circumstances and personal choices brought me back to living with Papi, my dad the man I had emotionally struggled with for many years. So, those daddy issues I had were about to be faced head on and it was my responsibility to identify the tools and resources so I could move forward.

As the youngest child of 3 I tethered most to Papi during my childhood, always feeling as though I was daddy’s little girl. I would always envision us spending time together and craved his attention whenever he was home from a business trip.  Yet that dream was shattered when the childhood home I grew up in was taken by the bank due to a bad business investment my parents took part in. For years I resented and blamed Papi for losing my home (never occurred to me to inquire how he felt about it) and then how he focused more on work than being with his family.

I didn’t realize then that my expectations of my dad and how I wanted him to be clouded my vision of what was reality. I knew in many ways I was very much like my dad, and was also told by others how similar we were in looks. For years, I would become upset whenever someone mentioned our similarities until I decided to look more closely at what characteristics we shared. Since 2014 I have been living with my dad which has been both a blessing and a challenge yet one I appreciate now every day for the lessons I have learned. Just this month I took the next step to move out on my own as we are both more emotionally and physically stable within our personal lives.

As I celebrate Father’s Day I am grateful for the opportunity the universe offered me and to learn how to accept him just as he is. I’ve taken 5 top lessons I’ve learned from Papi, which once drove me crazy yet now I realize how much they have positively influenced me. Most importantly though, the challenges I have faced while living with him from his sometimes egotistical behavior to his negative attitude towards life have encouraged me to focus more on compassion then frustration. After all, being annoyed with him for how he looks and experiences life is my problem and he has chosen how he wants to live his life even if I can’t always understand it.

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I thank him for being one of my teachers in life and am so grateful that he’s still with us today. I love him unconditionally even though I don’t always like or appreciate his actions or words.

5 lessons learned from Papi

1) It’s okay to talk to strangers: For as long as I could remember, I always saw my dad striking a conversation with just about anyone. We could be in the line at the airport, grocery store or eating a meal and he would begin to speak about anything and everything. He was so engaging with everyone. So naturally it was a skill I adapted to as I’ve always engaged with children and adults while traveling, waiting in line or just out and about. I’ve met amazing people by talking about the weather or comment on whatever they had in their hands. Simple conversations sometimes led to long lasting friendships. As a primarily solo traveler it’s been these conversations that have enhanced my trips and encouraged me to withdraw out of my sometimes introverted shell.

2) Delegate: I would always get so annoyed (sometimes still do) with my dad when he would call upon anyone (sometimes various times a day) in our family to help him even with the most simplest tasks. Seriously, I would think to myself as I pounded a nail into the wall or fixed something around the house, why couldn’t you just do it. Recently I learned that he would even pay the neighborhood kids to teach us how to ride our bikes during our childhood. Now instead of getting annoyed I actually marvel at how this man could delegate just about any task that he didn’t want to do and people would say yes. As I became more independent in life I took pride in being able to do just about anything myself yet that has also been a drawback as I would usually do things by myself rather than ask for help. However, I’ve been changing that pattern as I’ve come to recognize that asking for help builds community and shares the responsibility of accomplishing a task. It’s actually so much more humbling to ask for help than to do it on my own all the time. It’s still a work in progress for me but one I’m more aware of thanks to my dad.

3) Family is everything: Since living with my dad I’ve been able to see much more clearly how he shows his love towards his family.Whenever I returned home for long periods of time I would walk on the beach with my dad. We established early morning walks as time for us to talk. This was my chance to ask him questions without distractions. It was during these walks that he shared how he regretted not spending more time with us kids as we were growing up because he was traveling. He admitted that his focus was only to provide for the family. As he’s become older and since my mom passed away I’ve seen a more tender side as he’s been more engaging with his grandchildren. I have come to appreciate how he shows his love for each of us in his own way thus releasing expectations of how I think (or would prefer) he should show it.

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4) Travel to learn cultures: I give credit to my dad for encouraging my gypsy spirit (although I know it’s not one he would take pride in accepting). I could remember traveling on an airplane since I was a little girl to visit family in Puerto Rico or travel to Latin America for a business/family trip. Our trips were about learning new cultures and seeing new sights, which I continue the tradition to this day. Traveling for me has always been a way of life and I am doing all that I can to incorporate it into my business and personal lifestyle. Because of my dad’s joy of traveling with the family I have been able to visit numerous countries and regions growing up and then found new places that I enjoy traveling to. I am grateful and very fortunate to have experienced this because I know many have not.

5) Stay focused: Throughout my life my dad only had employers working as a sales engineer for Latin American countries selling welding and then medical equipment. He began with Hobart Brothers shortly after leaving Cuba while living in Puerto Rico and remained with them for over 20 years until the business was sold. He then took over the company my mom started while I was young, Servitech Corp while she focused on building South Florida Medical Equipment, a family business. He loved selling these products and traveled extensively to share his knowledge with companies around Latin America and the US. His goals were always to provide for his family and stay committed with his tasks at hand. Although my path as an entrepreneur wavers as I figure out all the ins and outs of running my own business, I’m focused on creating a freedom based business that empowers others to release stress naturally. As he was able to stay focused and committed towards his goals in life, which has always empowered me to have goals and objectives within my life.

In summary I am grateful for the opportunity of living with my dad and the challenges I encountered while living there, both personal and professional. I’m grateful that I was able to be present with my mom as she transitioned and then supporting my dad however I could and still do. I’ve learned to view challenges as opportunities with lessons to learn while also taking responsibility for my life and what I can control. I know my dad does not view life in this manner yet that is his choice and I love him unconditionally even though I may not like all of his actions and viewpoints.

If you have been struggling with a relationship with your mom or dad which you know is holding you back in life, then I encourage you today to book a complimentary stress release session with me and share your story. Then we can identify a supportive plan to assist you in releasing your frustrations so you can lead a balanced life towards health and happiness.

Join me every Wednesday at 8:00 am in my Facebook group, Our Wheels of Life, for a new weekly meditation tip to help you feel more balanced within your life through your chakras. Or join my YouTube channel to receive the meditations each week in your email.

 

Feel free to reply to these emails as I’d love to hear from you.

 

Pass this blog along to someone who may benefit from it as we all need love everyday!

Paty, La Mariposa

Join Mariposas Holistic Healing at these upcoming events in Miami.

Graduating through transitions!

As we head into summer many of us are celebrating the end of school with graduation ceremonies for our loved ones. Many schools choose to hold celebration ceremonies to honor each student for their hard work and dedication, regardless of what school year they are in. For parents it means their children are transitioning into a new grade with more responsibilities or a new lifestyle if they are headed towards college.

Within the school of life, however, there isn’t an official graduation day which identifies the ending of one chapter and the beginning of another. Life just continues to flow with daily responsibilities and challenges, with some feeling the weight of what we are learning or experiencing heavily on our shoulders or feeling it elsewhere in our bodies.

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The school of life is a concept I use and that of being a perpetual life student. This frame of mind encourages me to remain curious about each experience regardless of its intensity and it is one I share with my clients. Each problem I believe is really a challenge that requires you to approach it with curiosity and compassion for yourself and others. If you think of each situation as your worst teacher, say one that criticized you often or even slapped your hand whenever you didn’t answer correctly, then you will stay with the fear of doing the right thing that works for you. However, if you recall your most supportive teacher who listened and encouraged you to make your own decisions regardless of it was right or wrong you would be optimistic of making your own decisions. It works the same way in regards to looking at the problems you are facing. You have a choice of how you are going to react. If you choose to blame others, stay angry or upset when situations don’t go as you expect and focus on frustration because you can’t control others, you are prime for a breakdown either mentally or physically due to the stress you keep on yourself. Yet, if you view it as a student and you’re trying to figure out the best possible solution you can save yourself lots of pain and suffering, especially when you reach out to others for help.

Recently I was speaking with a new client about a problem she was facing. She was stressed about her current situation because she felt burdened about taking care of someone she wasn’t expecting to. Her anger carried into focusing all of her attention on this other person and neglecting her own self-care. Throughout our discussion I listened as she released, which she admitted she hadn’t shared with others before and then we identified at least one self-care technique she can bring back into her life in a realistic way.

After our discussion she received a stress release energy session and said she felt so much better and at ease. She admitted the knot in her throat was gone (talking and the energy release supported that) and she felt better, especially now that she had someone to release to and an activity to plan in her week.

The point is the problem didn’t go away that she was having but she found solutions that would help her manage the situation and release some of the stress she was carrying. Looking through the eyes of a student you become more powerful as you realize you have more options in front of you then the feelings that were holding you back.

By remaining locked in feelings of anger and resentment you actually give your power to others, whether they know it or not, yet when you problem solve and talk it out (not think it out for it mainly goes round and round without resolution) then you identify what is important to you, what are you able to control, and what are some solutions that you can bring to the surface that can help you move through the situation.

Stay curious regardless of what age you are and embrace the School of Life and the lessons it offers you every day.

To all the graduates, congratulations on your next venture and may you have continued success in all that you do.

Join me for meditation time every Wednesday at 8am for Facebook Live in Our Wheels of Life Facebook group, or watch the recording after.

Feel free to reply to these emails as I’d love to hear from you.

Paty, La Mariposa

Embracing change without fear

Change, do you embrace or fear it? 

Within my holistic healing practice change is a major reason my clients first come to see me because they admit they are unable to deal with their current situation. They share with me their fears about change happening in their lives which entail dealing with loss due to moving, losing a loved one or employment, relationship issues, etc. They explain how the loss, whether unexpected or they knew was coming, felt like they were knocked over by a tidal wave and they are still struggling for air. Transitions such as these are to be treated as as a trauma because it can cause the body and mind to react with either anger, disbelief, guilt, resentment or even feelings of numbness, shock.

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Other reactions to change can be anxiety, nervousness, insomnia, substance use, depression, and self-doubt to name a few. These are normal reactions to trauma through the freeze response as the person is unable to fight (verbally or physically) or run away from the situation.

Throughout our discussions we break down these responses to understand the core issue which is fear of the unknown. Before this situation or trauma happened life was going according to the plan that they created or rather expected. Therefore, when a big change or transition occurred they were left unprepared much like a storm coming unannounced and uprooting everything in its path.

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Can you relate to this?

However, change and transitions are a normal part of life. There is no guarantee that you will always have the same job forever or that your loved one will be present each day. By accepting that change is inevitable and it’s reality it can be easier to process life changes without feeling as though your heart is going to jump out of your chest or your world is falling apart for the rest of your life.

My earliest memory of a life transition was when I was 12 years old and I felt my life had changed forever because my parents lost the mortgage to the house I grew up in due to a miscalculated business plan. We didn’t have a family discussion, we didn’t have a choice, we were just told that we had to leave the house by a certain date. I fell into a deep depression, so deep I even considered suicide. However, the thought of my parents finding me kept me from following through because I didn’t want them to be sad about losing me too. It took me years to move through the resentment I held against my parents for taking my house away, although I never realized I resented them, especially my father, until someone else pointed it out. That experience has taught me that all I can control is myself and my reactions towards changes and transitions. By looking within I was able to take hold of that resentment and let it go (with lots of support of course) because it was eating me up inside.

If you’ve been following me for awhile then you know my life has been filled with abundance and losses of all kinds, just like I know yours has. Change has been a constant in my life due to the choices I’ve made (lots of moving) and also losing loved ones through various reasons. Once again a life transition is happening in my life as I will be moving into my own apartment in South Miami. Honestly, I have mixed feelings because for the last 3 years I have been living with my dad in his beautiful apartment facing the ocean and I have been hesitating on moving because I was unsure of where I wanted to go (US or Latin America). Finally, the universe has pushed me out of my nest and into a new experience. The hesitation comes from fear of not having it all figured out financially as I have been putting all of my resources and attention into my business and I wasn’t sure if staying in Miami was where I wanted to be. Yet I also knew it would be in both of our best interests for me to leave and be independent again. So, I pushed through my fear and doubts by choosing a date (I wanted August but the universe decided June) by when I wanted to leave.

Life is about how we handle transitions and situations, meaning your reaction towards them and the faith in the universe. By viewing change as inevitable and ensuring you have support, such as friends and family or other outlets to release pent up stress then you’ll be able to accept change easier.

As I have identified the root causes of my fear I am now able to embrace any kind of change easier and most importantly by accepting it. I’ve regressed at times when change has been unbearable by feeling angry, lonely, and frustrated yet by holding onto these feelings and blaming others or situations only hurts me. The same applies to you.

If you’ve been struggling with changes in your life and you’re unsure how to embrace it, let’s discuss it through a complimentary stress less phone conversation. I’m here to support you with a step-by-step plan to balance your life, embrace your power, and focus on health.

Feel free to reply to these emails as I’d love to hear from you.

Pass this blog along to someone who may benefit from it as we all need love everyday!

Paty, La Mariposa