Paty, La Mariposa, Hernández
Paty, La Mariposa
Balance your Chakras Tip of the Day
Date: Every Wednesday
Just the other day I heard someone groan, “Oh, I sound just like my mother/father.” Have you uttered these words before? This is a fear many of us have yet it’s important to really take an honest look at what it is we fear. Within my life I’ve heard this time and time again and I believe it’s fair to say that most if not all have mommy/daddy issues that cause them to struggle within their personal relationships. Granted our parents (or lack of) greatly impacted our lives as we grew up, especially if we held certain expectations of them or compared them to other parents. Honestly, I used to say the same thing until life circumstances and personal choices brought me back to living with Papi, my dad the man I had emotionally struggled with for many years. So, those daddy issues I had were about to be faced head on and it was my responsibility to identify the tools and resources so I could move forward.
As the youngest child of 3 I tethered most to Papi during my childhood, always feeling as though I was daddy’s little girl. I would always envision us spending time together and craved his attention whenever he was home from a business trip. Yet that dream was shattered when the childhood home I grew up in was taken by the bank due to a bad business investment my parents took part in. For years I resented and blamed Papi for losing my home (never occurred to me to inquire how he felt about it) and then how he focused more on work than being with his family.
I didn’t realize then that my expectations of my dad and how I wanted him to be clouded my vision of what was reality. I knew in many ways I was very much like my dad, and was also told by others how similar we were in looks. For years, I would become upset whenever someone mentioned our similarities until I decided to look more closely at what characteristics we shared. Since 2014 I have been living with my dad which has been both a blessing and a challenge yet one I appreciate now every day for the lessons I have learned. Just this month I took the next step to move out on my own as we are both more emotionally and physically stable within our personal lives.
As I celebrate Father’s Day I am grateful for the opportunity the universe offered me and to learn how to accept him just as he is. I’ve taken 5 top lessons I’ve learned from Papi, which once drove me crazy yet now I realize how much they have positively influenced me. Most importantly though, the challenges I have faced while living with him from his sometimes egotistical behavior to his negative attitude towards life have encouraged me to focus more on compassion then frustration. After all, being annoyed with him for how he looks and experiences life is my problem and he has chosen how he wants to live his life even if I can’t always understand it.
I thank him for being one of my teachers in life and am so grateful that he’s still with us today. I love him unconditionally even though I don’t always like or appreciate his actions or words.
5 lessons learned from Papi
1) It’s okay to talk to strangers: For as long as I could remember, I always saw my dad striking a conversation with just about anyone. We could be in the line at the airport, grocery store or eating a meal and he would begin to speak about anything and everything. He was so engaging with everyone. So naturally it was a skill I adapted to as I’ve always engaged with children and adults while traveling, waiting in line or just out and about. I’ve met amazing people by talking about the weather or comment on whatever they had in their hands. Simple conversations sometimes led to long lasting friendships. As a primarily solo traveler it’s been these conversations that have enhanced my trips and encouraged me to withdraw out of my sometimes introverted shell.
2) Delegate: I would always get so annoyed (sometimes still do) with my dad when he would call upon anyone (sometimes various times a day) in our family to help him even with the most simplest tasks. Seriously, I would think to myself as I pounded a nail into the wall or fixed something around the house, why couldn’t you just do it. Recently I learned that he would even pay the neighborhood kids to teach us how to ride our bikes during our childhood. Now instead of getting annoyed I actually marvel at how this man could delegate just about any task that he didn’t want to do and people would say yes. As I became more independent in life I took pride in being able to do just about anything myself yet that has also been a drawback as I would usually do things by myself rather than ask for help. However, I’ve been changing that pattern as I’ve come to recognize that asking for help builds community and shares the responsibility of accomplishing a task. It’s actually so much more humbling to ask for help than to do it on my own all the time. It’s still a work in progress for me but one I’m more aware of thanks to my dad.
3) Family is everything: Since living with my dad I’ve been able to see much more clearly how he shows his love towards his family.Whenever I returned home for long periods of time I would walk on the beach with my dad. We established early morning walks as time for us to talk. This was my chance to ask him questions without distractions. It was during these walks that he shared how he regretted not spending more time with us kids as we were growing up because he was traveling. He admitted that his focus was only to provide for the family. As he’s become older and since my mom passed away I’ve seen a more tender side as he’s been more engaging with his grandchildren. I have come to appreciate how he shows his love for each of us in his own way thus releasing expectations of how I think (or would prefer) he should show it.
4) Travel to learn cultures: I give credit to my dad for encouraging my gypsy spirit (although I know it’s not one he would take pride in accepting). I could remember traveling on an airplane since I was a little girl to visit family in Puerto Rico or travel to Latin America for a business/family trip. Our trips were about learning new cultures and seeing new sights, which I continue the tradition to this day. Traveling for me has always been a way of life and I am doing all that I can to incorporate it into my business and personal lifestyle. Because of my dad’s joy of traveling with the family I have been able to visit numerous countries and regions growing up and then found new places that I enjoy traveling to. I am grateful and very fortunate to have experienced this because I know many have not.
5) Stay focused: Throughout my life my dad only had employers working as a sales engineer for Latin American countries selling welding and then medical equipment. He began with Hobart Brothers shortly after leaving Cuba while living in Puerto Rico and remained with them for over 20 years until the business was sold. He then took over the company my mom started while I was young, Servitech Corp while she focused on building South Florida Medical Equipment, a family business. He loved selling these products and traveled extensively to share his knowledge with companies around Latin America and the US. His goals were always to provide for his family and stay committed with his tasks at hand. Although my path as an entrepreneur wavers as I figure out all the ins and outs of running my own business, I’m focused on creating a freedom based business that empowers others to release stress naturally. As he was able to stay focused and committed towards his goals in life, which has always empowered me to have goals and objectives within my life.
In summary I am grateful for the opportunity of living with my dad and the challenges I encountered while living there, both personal and professional. I’m grateful that I was able to be present with my mom as she transitioned and then supporting my dad however I could and still do. I’ve learned to view challenges as opportunities with lessons to learn while also taking responsibility for my life and what I can control. I know my dad does not view life in this manner yet that is his choice and I love him unconditionally even though I may not like all of his actions and viewpoints.
If you have been struggling with a relationship with your mom or dad which you know is holding you back in life, then I encourage you today to book a complimentary stress release session with me and share your story. Then we can identify a supportive plan to assist you in releasing your frustrations so you can lead a balanced life towards health and happiness.
Join me every Wednesday at 8:00 am in my Facebook group, Our Wheels of Life, for a new weekly meditation tip to help you feel more balanced within your life through your chakras. Or join my YouTube channel to receive the meditations each week in your email.
Pass this blog along to someone who may benefit from it as we all need love everyday!
Paty, La Mariposa
Join Mariposas Holistic Healing at these upcoming events in Miami.
To me, Reiki is a spiritual love connection. It doesn’t always offer a direct explanation yet it helps the body to chill so it can heal however that needs to be. It helped me move through my grief whenever I lost a loved one or was struggling through emotional stressors. Now, I’ve created my own reality with a successful healing business so I can continue to serve people in a way that’s unique and beneficial too so many people. I know my mom would be so proud of me. Shoot, I’m super proud of myself. 😉
We are 2 weeks into 2017 and the biggest positive change for me has been my motivation. I have set goals with various time limits I am committed to. My motivation stems from focusing on my purpose to enhance my community, confidence, and commitment to my life and business. To me these goals are different from new year resolutions because my focus is not on changing for 2017 but doing it for life.
If you have worked with me in my coaching program then you know I like to set 1, 3, and 6 month goals for those are more realistic and practical. Regardless if you’re into setting resolutions or goals, one of the biggest issues you may face in following through is yourself. How often have you talked yourself out of going out for that walk or eating a salad or going to sleep before 1:00 am? I’m sure you have made an excellent case for skipping out doing what you know is good for you.
Another way self-sabotage is common is when you feel that everything’s going just right then a negative thought comes in and your mood deflates.
For example, Monday I was rejoicing because I had just secured a weekly guided meditation opportunity I will be facilitating at House of Movement, a holistic gym in Brickell. As I was screaming excitedly in my car (yes windows were up) I then thought of someone I hadn’t spoken to in a bit and began to feel sadness especially as images scurried through my mind.
Fortunately, I caught myself as I realized I was hitting my limit of gratitude when life is treating me well and staying within that zone.
I want to reassure you that it’s not life that is dealing you a bad hand, but unfortunately it’s your thoughts that are keeping you down. As a counselor I knew about this and share it with my clients yet when it comes to my personal life that concept just flew out the window. In order to ensure I am aware of my limiting beliefs I picked from my bookshelf The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks*. I had read it before but felt called to read it again. This book was the first to be called into duty for following through on my goal to read 1 book a month or at least from start to finish, whichever comes first.
Last year I hit my limiting belief of not feeling worthy numerous times which caused me low motivation in moving forward with my business and becoming financially independent. Fortunately the universe knows of my gifts and pushed me through some of my hurdles, yet I can admit they were hard to crawl over at times. My clients mirrored this in me as they would mention how frustrating it is when they feel life is going well and then something (or some thought) comes into play which causes them to backtrack or so they thought.
So that’s why I believe Gay Hendricks* book called out to me so I can remember to move past my limiting beliefs, my self-doubts. One of the a-ha moments for me in the book, is our addiction to pain which causes us to poke our happy bubbles whenever they start to rise. This is related to a hidden fear that you may have or a limiting belief that you’re not worthy, you don’t deserve happiness or you’re not enough.
Today and everyday I challenge you to recognize when negative thoughts come into your mind, especially after a happy event, and shake them off. You can do this by dancing, walking into another room, putting on a happy song, playing with pets, etc. Point is do something physical rather than staying with your thoughts. I promise you will feel so much better.
Peace and love,
Paty, La Mariposa
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Wednesday marked another year around the Earth for me. I honestly can’t believe I’m now 38 years old. Yes, I kid you not that is my true age although I still feel (and sometimes act) like I’m in my early 30s. I feel blessed to have the opportunity each year to celebrate my birthday differently as I’m usually in another location with other people. Wherever I am, I give thanks that I’ve made it another year, another day. I cannot help but think every year that my older sister never made it this far, thus reminding me how the present is such a gift.
This year I celebrated my birthday in Ometepe, Nicaragua. The morning began as I always do with gratitude and a meditation for a beautiful day. I then joined my colleagues at a local community health center to teach a group of pregnant women about the 4 levels of energy that are important to maintain balance. (I’ll be working on a video about this class once I’m back in the states) Then celebrated my birthday with NDI colleagues in the afternoon and then in the evening celebrated with my host family eating local food, ice cream, and cake. They were simple yet joyous celebrations because my heart was overflowing with loving energy. Throughout the day when I was connected to the internet I checked my numerous connections to the world outside (Facebook, text, voicemails, whatsapp, and emails) and happily received love from so many people.
I’m so thankful that I can continue to live a life full of gratitude, service, and joy as I choose to follow a path that has transformed me in ways I often can’t describe in words. I have found my purpose in life and I’m creating a business that fulfills each cell of my body even though many times I am petrified of taking another step. Fears such as “What if I fail and my family was right, I should have stayed in a comfortable and secure job with benefits? What if I succeed and all of my dreams come true, even though I don’t know what they are? What if this path continues to bring me joy yet doesn’t bring me true love because of my inability to stay in one place?” swarm throughout my brain from time to time.
When these doubts come into my mind and heart, I ask for strength from Spirit to please guide and support me. I then remember to take a breath and choose what to do next to keep focused on my goals and path. Failure simply implies that I need to fix the mistakes that I made and success is what I envision it to be. It’s really the journey that I have found to be the most impactful.
So, now that I’m 38 years old my goals are to continue to expand my business and empower myself to be the best that I can be. I continue to step into my big girl shoes as I make mistakes, learn from them, and walk on with a smile on my face. To embrace those around me and give thanks for the support they have shared with me. I will continue to lose people along the journey yet will be filled with their memories and what they have taught me. All I have control over is where I chose to direct my focus and to keep steady with one foot in front of the other. I release the expectations others have for me and create my own reality while surrounded by people who support me.
Best of all I’m going to continue jamming to the music life has to offer. Speaking of music, here’s an awesome song to inspire you today and rise up. Click here and dance, dance, dance!!
How do you celebrate your birthday? What ways do you make your birthday special?
Please respond and share your favorite birthday!
My mission is to offer you health-related insights, practical tips, inspiration and stories that will support you in living balanced towards a happy and healthy life as you embrace your joy and purpose along your healing journey.
Pass this blog along to someone who may benefit from it as we all need love everyday!
P.S. Click here for a brief survey to learn more about what turns you on.
PPS. Connect your mind, body, and spirit through the chakra systems. Our Wheels of Life Online Course is now open for registration. Click here
Peace and love, Paty, La Mariposa
As an international traveler, I constantly push myself out of my comfort zone. Most of the time to save money I either stay in hostels, with friends or even stay with people I don’t know using couchsurfing. I have had the traveling bug since I was a young girl, thanks to my parents who traveled often throughout Latin America. However, my world changed when I opted to study abroad in Spain for 2 months as an exchange student. Before my study abroad I traveled with my sister for 2 weeks throughout the north of Spain. It was amazing. Since then I have found numerous opportunities to pack up my backpack and take off somewhere new with little planning other than a plane ticket and at least 1 main destination. In 2007 I took traveling to another level when I combined it with service work as a volunteer with the Peace Corps. Almost every year I’m off to a new country or state offering my services and learning about a new place and its people. It’s almost an addiction and keeps my gypsy heart happy.
My newest travels have taken me to Ometepe, Nicaragua and I have now been here a little over a month as an intern at a naturopathic clinic through the non-profit Natural Doctor’s International (NDI). The clinic is based in a primarily agricultural town called Los Angeles and offers free natural health medicine and psychology to the people of Ometepe of over 45,000 people. However, during my time here the naturopathic doctor* (didn’t know what that was until I arrived) had just moved to the capital city, Managua, with his family and so was taking a break from the island. I opted to arrive before my volunteer stint of 3 months to participate in a 10-day global health brigade working with him, 5 naturopathic students, a psychologist, and another naturopathic doctor serving over 100 patients in 4 days. It was an amazing experience to see the collaboration between physical and mental health using natural remedies.
Since the brigade ended, I have been working with Lilliam, the organization’s psychologist in her numerous activities within the Diosa (Goddess) community empowerment program. We have naturally been combining our skills; hers are counseling and Bach Flowers therapy and mine are counseling with energy healing work. Our work includes seeing clients Mondays at the local hospital and Tuesdays the clinic. As part of my commitment to heart centered individuals I’m blessed to also offer energy healing and meditation to the hospital staff individually and in-group sessions. Overall, it’s been super gratifying although the heat has been intense as they don’t have air conditioning and yet I’m grateful for the recent repair of the overhead fan in the office I work in.
For patients that rarely receive energy work, although some have received acupuncture and massage when it’s available when the brigades come, all are so open minded and willing to receive a stress release session. I’ve been using color therapy, magnet, aromatherapy, and Reiki. I have seen some amazing transformations after only 1 session. For example, one patient who had never been to a psychologist was sent to me at the hospital for issues with nerves (anxiety attacks). She admitted she was scared of almost everything and caused her family to feel edgy and annoyed with her. After one session she stated that most of her fears had dissipated and she felt so much more relaxed.
Most of the health issues I am seeing are so similar to clients I work with back home; digestive issues; long-term grief, holding on to feelings, issues with loved ones, fears about moving forward in life, etc. However, one of the issues I’m dealing more with are men cheating on their significant others yet they become upset if the women state that they need to choose, them or their infidelities. Some women are well aware of it and says it doesn’t bother them (although their health issues are showing otherwise) and other women are unsure what to do because they are financially dependent on their husbands). The psychological abuse and often childhood trauma of sexual abuse or molestation is also highly prevalent. So many are extremely grateful to have someone they can speak honestly with for many have never spoken to their traumas to anyone. We work on identifying solutions and of course receiving energy healing to assist them in releasing their emotional wounds. These are the cases I most often debrief with Lilliam because it’s so challenging to hear the disrespect these women experience daily.
Each Wednesday we visit a different community health center to meet with their pregnant women’s club along with a dentist, a nutritionist, and the psychologist. In the club we discuss a theme (September) was on the benefits of Moringa, (Marango in Nicaragua) a tree that offers numerous vitamins especially increase in lactating women. After the discussion the women meet individually with each of the above health professionals.
This is truly community care support at its best as these are services that are all offered for free. Granted the medical equipment and conditions are sparse yet health care is an important virtue of the socialist government of improving the health needs of the people most of which are very poor. The government is focused on increasing maternal health and decreasing infant death. However, one of Nicaragua’s biggest issues is teen pregnancy, which is not going down, and unfortunately many of the teens are not coming to the pregnant women clubs.
Thursdays, I primarily work with my clients in the United States and administration work within my business, especially my upcoming online chakra course. However, sometimes I also lead self-care and meditation groups at the local community centers and the hospital on Thursdays and Fridays. Fridays are office days for the most part if we’re not teaching. Yet we have gone to offer self-care and meditation groups in community organizations to heart-centered individuals.
Saturdays and Sundays are my fun and adventure days. One weekend I rented a scooter and traveled around the island on my own. Another weekend I went horseback riding and climbing up a non-active volcano. I have also had “beach” days and sightseeing days.
Overall, my time in Nicaragua has involved numerous a-ha moments, as I’m more inspired about my work and purpose. I’m finding my work-life balance by ensuring I have fun and adventurous days. Mornings I wake up with the sunrise and focus on me time as I write, meditate, and do core exercises. I also spend time with my host family and community members.
I’m thankful for this opportunity here as I for me it takes stepping out of my comfort zone (and air conditioning) to reawaken the light flowing through me as I can get back to basics. Being of service in developing countries is such a gift that I truly enjoy. As September ended I had the opportunity to teach 11 community professionals Reiki 1 sponsored by Diosa and my business. For many it was the first time they ever heard of it and for all it is a new tool they can use for their self-care. They are looking forward to Reiki 2 in a couple of months. In December I’ll be returning to Miami to spend the holidays with my family and then celebrate new year’s offering energy healing sessions and classes at a music festival (my fun zone).
Being of service is to focus on one’s feminine traits, which is about giving to others in a loving and compassionate way. Service work is a combination of sacral and heart chakra as it focuses on creativity, passion, and compassion for others.
What’s your way of being of service? How do you like to give back to communities?
Please respond by leaving a message here.
P.S. Click here for a brief survey to learn more about what turns you on.
PPS. Check out our public Facebook group, Our Wheels of Life for more resources about the chakras.
Blessings and health,
Paty Hernandez, Chakraholic and Gypsy Energy Healer. MSW, MPH, CHC