The other day I was talking with my 10 year old niece about how we find more comfort and friendships in books than we have in real life. She admitted to being lonely as she didn’t have any friends. I so related to her as I remember spending more days and weekends alone than I did in the company of others during many years of my life. Loneliness is like a shadow to me, always sneaking up whenever I turn a corner and looming over me for long periods of time.
I’ve become so accustomed to being alone that sometimes I feel really awkward when I’m around groups of people and I find myself sneaking into a quiet corner or even leaving the uncomfortable environment. More often than not I enjoy time on my own, yet there are times that I miss the closeness of others and sharing ideas. Since I began my business I’ve seen myself spend hours in front of the computer working rather than taking action and being around others.
Recently, I was feeling rather lonely and sad as I sat alone in my apartment wondering what to do that weekend for fun. A few months ago I set a goal to have more fun in Miami, at least once a month, that wasn’t work related. I find it almost funny that I’ve been back in Miami, my place of birth, for 4 years now after being gone for 15 years and still can’t say I have 1 good friend here. At least anyone I can truly call up and say, let’s go out for fun. Everyone I used to hang out with has moved on to another way of life really different from mine or has moved away. I do have 1 friend I’ve known for a few years but she’s usually really busy or prefers to spend time alone, which I totally understand.
I began to cry because I didn’t understand how this could be as I’m such a friendly person. Eventually I noticed that I was judging and beating myself up with each negative thought so I decided to confront my feelings of loneliness by questioning what could I do differently. I allowed myself to cry and release the emotions moving within me and then stood up and shook it off. Really I put on an awesome song and danced my heart out. Then, I walked around my apartment thinking to myself what am I really missing? How else have I been feeling supported and welcomed in other areas of my life. Almost immediately, the word tribe came into my mind.
Yes, how have I been building up my tribe? A tribe is a group of like minded people who come together in one way or another to empower each other in some aspect. In the past tribes were people of the same culture who lived or traveled together and helped each other survive by thriving within their various skills.
I then realized that I do have various tribes; my family, my clients and colleagues, my friends in other parts of the country and world, along with other tribes I’ve joined doing what I love through dancing, healing, and traveling.
Truth be told with so many people in this world, it still amazes me how many of us still feel so lonely and isolated. I then realized that I’m beginning to change that as I’ve been taking action by creating events and being part of ones that bring people together. Miami is full of such events, it’s just up to me to say yes to what would bring me the most joy. I have a choice to be around others or be alone. I’ve been choosing loneliness for fear of being uncomfortable and now, I choose to move past that as I set out to be more around my tribes. Oooh, it feels so empowering!!
I may still feel lonely at times yet now I feel so much more inspired to do more local events and connect with others as I continue to enhance my tribes. This then deepens my roots where I’m at so I can continue to bloom.
With each event I create (see below) I take steps to close the loneliness gap for myself and others which is such a blessing.
I’d love to hear from you.
What tribes do you belong to?
When you feel lonely what action steps do you take to move forward into the light?
Love and hugs,
2018 Upcoming In Person Events
JUNE 10: Usui Reiki I Certification Class
JUNE 23: Energy Healing Sessions at Tropical Park Farmer’s Market
JUNE 23: Journey Dance at Crossfit Boundless, 4-6pm
JULY 14: Reiki 2 Certification class
JULY 29: Reiki 1 in North Carolina
SEPTEMBER 29-30: Usui Reiki III* Certification Class
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